Sexism in anti-sexism? Go figure.

There is no question that the images of women in advertising, TV shows and movies promote skewed views of the role of women in society as the domestic workers, talkers, sex objects and subservient to men.

But one thing that is never mentioned is, what is the message to young boys and men about themselves and not simply how we (males) view women. Let's remove the women depiction from the equation (as when we talk about the female side of the argument we usually talk about how these 'things' usually effect girls)

We mostly talk about how these images teach men to treat women and girls as such... but how about the direct message to boys.

The message is never: "Sexy women fall for (or belong to) MEN because men are powerful (or any other symbol of 'manly' power)." The message is usually sexist towards both WOMEN and MEN together. Look at the guys in these ads. Do they look or dress like your average male? No! They are usually "ripped" or "Cut" and dressed in either expensive suits or fashionably dirty clothes. The message is: if you're a man you MUST NOT be weak, you should be rich and sexy. Hard and controlling. Otherwise you don't deserve these 'party on' moments.'

These ads also promote the idea that real men shouldn't be able to cook or be able to take care of themselves. Men should be inept at basic life skills like proper communication, confli­ct resolution and emotional conveyance. Men are meant to compete, conquer and "Man up," otherwise known as treating situations with aggression for resolution and not capitulate. Is this a good message for young boys? Why is that aspect never mentioned?

Also, in movies, when there is a simple minded, bumbling character... it's male.

A popular argument about (particularly) children's shows and cartoons, the roles of characters and movie premise. A number of comparisons are drawn. Particularly from those in my generation, ie. "My Little Pony" vs. "Transformers" where the My Little Pony story lines usually revolve around friends bickering and 'hurt feelings' and Transformers is about epic battles between good and evil, hard fighting and conflict.

Now neither one is a terribly good message to hammer out stereotypic roles, but if you look at the message:

One deals with conflict resolution in situations that we all encounter in our lives. Arguments with friends and family. The importance of patience, communication, listening, mediation and emotional reactions.

The other teaches an example of "importance" being weighed on only massive consequential situations, and ignoring the 'small stuff' like emotions and the ability to cultivate any meaningful sense of friendship. The 'conflict' in these programs demonstrate power, hard-hearted, fighting and absolutely no capitulation.

In real life the forceful influence of strong feminist opinions on women is also apparent. Just as it was for men at one time (you should be strong, not weak and play only powerful roles) removes the individual's ability to express who they really are. Why can't you be a strong Man? Or a quiet woman? A quiet Man, or a strong woman, if that is who you are instead of being told "You are a woman (man), this is what you should act like."

I have witnessed (during conversations in psychology classes) arguments that a handful of women were grilled by other women that genuinely wanted to have children and be at home that they were WRONG! Isn't feminism about giving women freedom to do as they choose, and not belittle them as saying if you want a certain type of life, that's because you have been influenced by outside forces (in essence calling them weak minded and making bad decisions).

Family friends who are very close to me had an interesting contrast in reaction to their daughter and son having chosen life paths. The mother (who once worked for a Women's Rights organization) reacted a little disappointed when she first heard her daughter was going to have a baby. Seeing this as a possible path to 'domestication' and stereotypical role-playing of women in her daughter.

But her son who chose to be a mechanic isn't a problem... because guys, cars and rough work isn't a stereotype of male roles?

So instead of fighting for Men's rights or Women's rights, shouldn't we be striving for true equality? "Bad" imagery of women also hurts men, not just because it goes back to how men treat women, but because when we say "Women are this" we're also saying "Men are not this."

Which also cultivates ideas such as a male being labeled as "gay" or weak for displaying emotions, good communication skills, intelligent, open and able to care for himself.